highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
