i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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