It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize