Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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