Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
