please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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