I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
