I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize