there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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