...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
