At least make sure they are 18
Why
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
