Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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