i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
