dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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