but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
