Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
