I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
