i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
cat food counts as protein by the way
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
