I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
