Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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