saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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