Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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