Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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