he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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