well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
