five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize