I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
not ubering you a puppy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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