he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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