I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
PANTIES FOUND
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