i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
