i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
