You work out of a Hotel?
this boner is exhausting
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
