she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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