Who did Billy Mays play for?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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