also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
