Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
