Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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