Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
