I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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