Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They left me at home... I'm a liability
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
