Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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