a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
