I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize