Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
