i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Welp...herpes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
