Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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