She is in my trunk
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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