no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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