Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize