I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
