TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
