Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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