Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
