Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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