i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
