Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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