Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
