she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
