I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
