Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
