my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
