i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize