well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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