There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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