Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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