Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize