Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
