he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
