Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
