I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
