Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
