party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
